Sometimes I think God is naughty...

Sometimes I think God is naughty. Now I know God is not naughty but actually supremely wise and sovereign, yet I can’t help but think that. Some say God lets evil happen, and some believe God is nothing but wrathful. And why shouldn’t they? After all, there are lots of things we can’t explain if we hold on to this dualistic mindset of right and wrong, good and evil. Pain exists, and so does evil. Which also means that sin exists, if you prefer that word, and we all have done our best to explain why God permits such things to exist. I know that I’m not a theologian, so I just think He’s naughty.

I don’t know what the dictionary says about the word naughty, but I believe naughty means being playfully bad, when you know what is the right thing to do. You should obey your mom and clean your room, but you watch cartoons instead. You should study for tomorrow’s exam, but you play Poker with your friends instead. You should take your date home immediately, but you only get back when the sun rises. Getting the picture? In any given situation, you have the opportunity to do what is right, but instead you do what you shouldn’t. In other words, if there was a spectrum of right and wrong, of good and bad, and you found these terms on opposite ends, the word naughty would be close to the middle, but leaning more towards the negative side of the spectrum.

In my mind, God has this awesome story going on. It began with a good thing, and then the good thing became a bad thing. Then this bad thing was fixed by another good thing even though the bad thing still exists. And one day all of the good things and bad things will be dealt with in a manner where God gets all the glory.

And this entire story of this battle between good and bad things is part of God’s story. I don’t think it can be written any other way. I’m pretty sure the laws of time and space do not permit us to go back and rewrite history, so I’ve gotten to a point where I’ve just accepted what has happened, both good and bad, and done my best to discover how this fits into God’s amazing story. I’ve tried to break those laws before, but time and space can be pretty difficult to break. I used to train my mind to transcend the laws of time and space, hoping that I’d magically appear during the American Revolution with a machine gun so the Americans wouldn’t have such a hard time winning the war, but in the end all I’d produce was a great fantasy and a horrible migraine. History is full of good things and bad things, but mostly just bad things that can’t be explained. I don’t know why God would permit such things to happen like the Holocaust, the disappearance of Atlantis and dinosaurs, the early retirement of Barry Sanders, and genocide. I honestly go insane thinking about the why’s of God, so I just say God is naughty, and in some cases, extremely naughty.

My mom used to frequently call me a “naughty little boy.” Every Christmas season my family and I would spend an evening together decorating the Christmas tree while drinking eggnog and listening to Christmas songs. Now I love eggnog, but only when it comes from a metal can. Not the carton eggnog, but the metal one where you have to use a can-opener. All eggnog connoisseurs will know which one I’m talking about.

Anyways, eggnog always made me really fat because I’d drink tons of it during Christmas. Many nights I would get out of my bad, go down to the kitchen, quietly open the refrigerator door, and drink eggnog until my little fat belly was full. I’d leave just enough in the can so that no one would become suspicious since our entire family loves eggnog. Then I would go back to bed with a belly full of eggnog, feeling sick to my stomach and wanting to throw up.

But one night my mom caught me.

My mom is a very proper and polite mom who grew up in South Africa and talks with an English accent as if she has a hot potato in her mouth. So when she first caught me she said, “Greggie, you naughty little boy. Go back to bed.” I think I’ve heard that phrase a thousand times!

For example, I used to rub my hands in my little sister’s face to annoy her, and then I’d hear my mom say it again, “Stop it, you naughty little boy!”

I used to T.P. (that’s toilet paper for you poor sheltered kids out there) peoples yards and my mom would always find out and call me a naughty little boy…again.

I used to trash my friend’s cars with garlic powder, sardines, shaving cream, and saran wrap. My mom would somehow always find out about my pranks and say it once more—naughty.

We’d go on church trips and I would sneak into the girls rooms and my mom actually caught me one time and was greatly disappointed and called me naughty yet again.

My mom always said that I’d have to be held responsible for all my pranks and naughty little deeds, but I’ve always said, “Do the crime if you can do the time.” But that’s probably not a good philosophy.

Naughty, naughty, naughty…

Not bad…

Definitely not evil…

Just naughty.

Even now my mom always refers to me as her naughty little boy. Somehow I think it’s become more of an “I love you” name rather than an “I’m disappointed” name. My mom wouldn’t want me to be naughty, but she never minded because she knew I was just a boy wanting to do childish things. I guess that made her a little naughty since she never stopped it. Sometimes I think she allowed me to be a little naughty.

And sometimes I think God allows Himself to be a little naughty too.

I know what some of you may be thinking, but don’t go there. No, God is not a little boy placing cherry bombs in the school toilet. No, God is not a boy with a magnifying glass standing over an anthill, having fun and being a little naughty. I live in New Orleans, and I do not consider Hurricane Katrina to be a naughty little deed. No, God does not create evil nor does He have anything to do with it. That’s just dumb! Haven’t you heard that God is love?

My brother and I decided to read through the bible in 90 days which probably won’t happen since I’m a little naughty and never finish what I set out to do. But on our first day of reading I came across the story about the tower of Babel.

In Genesis 11, the author mentions how there was a time when “the whole world had one language and a common speech.” The people were coming together and organizing themselves and began to talk about building a tower. When I was younger my Sunday school teachers told me that they built the tower because they were trying to reach God, but I don’t know if that’s entirely true. Verse 4 says, “Then they said, ‘Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves and not be scattered over the face of the whole earth’.” Now that doesn’t sound too bad. These people just wanted to get as close to the heavens as they could and they wanted to stay together. How could that be bad?

Why did God need to intervene in this moment?

And why are there so many different languages?

I just returned from a trip to Myanmar (also called Burma) where my brother and I helped this man coach a basketball camp for one week. Fortunately basketball has now become sort of a universal language in which we could use hand signals and different demonstrations to teach them certain skills and drills. But it sure was hard to communicate with them. They spoke Burmese, and it honestly sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It was extremely frustrating when I was trying to teach the finer aspects of the game.

In my opinion, I think God was being a little naughty when he scattered everyone and gave us different languages. I personally think it would be much easier for mankind, especially concerning the spreading of the Good News, if we all spoke the same language.

So God then comes down to the city, sees them building a tower, and decides to do something about it. Verse 6 says, “The Lord said, ‘If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan will be impossible for them. Come, let us [kinda cool how he includes His entire being in this matter] go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other’.”

Can you imagine God “coming down” to confuse languages? Can you actually fathom that God most Holy and most Awesome and most Powerful and most Sovereign came down merely to confuse us by making us speak in ways we can’t understand one another? Can you imagine when the people began to talk and realized that other people sounded really strange and they couldn’t even understand what other people were saying? Did they remember their original language? Did they begin to make signs to one another as a last great attempt to work together on the tower? I’d imagine that if I was alive during this moment, I’d yell at the top of my lungs with a Chris Farley like desperation, “What is going on here?!!!” But I’d also wonder what language I was yelling. I’d hope my new language would be the one in Africa where they make a bunch of clicking noises.

So there you have it. God was just being naughty.

Come on!! You don’t see it? Being surrounded by the things of God my entire life and growing up in a good Christian home, I have now come to realize that I have to remove my Sunday School tie in order to really think about Scripture.

The people were organizing themselves, trying to reach heaven, and God then says something quite profound. He says, “Then nothing they plan to do will be impossible.”

Am I missing something? Does God not want the best for us? Doesn’t He say that He wants to give us life to the fullest? Does He also say that He has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future?

That’s why I say God is naughty. Two reasons support this. First, God is not evil. Second, God never contradicts himself. Since I fully believe He is neither evil nor contradictory, he has to be naughty. How else can you explain this story about the tower of Babel? And what better word to describe God’s actions at the tower of Babel than “naughty.”

But maybe I’ve been missing something all along.

My two reasons supported my light accusation that God is naughty, but I believe there is a third reason that provides a greater explanation as to why God may be naughty and why God permits language barriers…

and hurricanes…

and tsunamis…

and earthquakes.

God is not evil nor is He contradictory, but more importantly God is not accidental. Behind each moment in life is a divine purpose from the very heart of God.

And that purpose is God.

He is behind everything. What we are doing now at this very moment is a result of God’s very detailed and purposeful story. It’s not a story about me. It’s not a story about you. It’s not even a story about mankind. No, God is creating a story for Himself, for his glory, and for his credit.

The people at the tower of Babel quite possibly were doing a good thing. They were actually unified, which is something we never see, and they were trying to reach the heavens.

But this was not part of God’s story. More importantly, God was not getting any credit. The tower of Babel was about man taking credit for himself, not for God. In modern day terms, it’s like starting a church plant, seeing it grow to thousands of people, and then taking credit for it. Maybe I’m wrong, but I think I’m beginning to see lots of Babel towers around the world. Hmmm…

I do believe with all my heart that God has wonderful plans for us and that He wants to give us full lives, but I believe even more that God should be the one who gives us this. I would love to give myself a full life, and I would love to know that I have created wonderful plans for my life, but I can’t. Only God can do that. Only God can take the credit for such a wonderful thing.

After seeing the Gulf Coast and my beloved city being torn apart by Hurricane Katrina, I began to wonder if God was truly behind every detail of life. I began to wonder if Hurricane Katrina could’ve just slipped by without God noticing. But then I began to think about the tsunami in Asia and the earthquake in Pakistan. If things were slipping by without God noticing, then He sure was missing a lot of things. Hurricane Katrina brought up a question that came from the very depths of my soul,

“Is God really behind every detail of life?”

My heart, my faith, and more importantly the Word of God provided me with that answer. Yes, God has planned and ordained everything. And yes, God purposed Hurricane Katrina. Why? I don’t know. But I’m listening…probably listening now more than ever. I’m beginning to understand even more that everything is planned according to His plans, not mine.

God is naughty, but He’s only naughty from my point of view. From His point of view, I’m willing to bet He’s very meticulous in His planning. I’m willing to bet that He’s planned every event in history very carefully. And I’m willing to bet that He’s carefully planned our lives as well. I’m willing to bet He sees a greater picture in mind that I will never be able to see. Perhaps He doesn’t think He’s naughty by nature at all.

All I’m saying is that God is God, I’m probably the naughty one, and it’s His story. The way I see it, God can do whatever He wants. It’s His story. We play roles in the story. They are very important roles because actors in the end give credit to the playwright just as a book gives credit to its author. We are the words that God continues to use to develop this amazing story about how amazing and wonderful and awesome God really is!

From our perspective, a naughty God permitting evil leads to frustration and pain and grief and anxiety. But from this perceived naughtiness comes a greater good that only God can see. After all, it’s His story.

~written in 2006